


Gardens and Guarantees

by haawk



Series: before my road leads back to you [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haawk/pseuds/haawk
Summary: meeting goldanna is an absolute disaster
Relationships: Alistair/Female Warden (Dragon Age), Alistair/Tabris (Dragon Age), Alistair/Warden (Dragon Age)
Series: before my road leads back to you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033299
Kudos: 6





	Gardens and Guarantees

He is absolutely not going to cry in the middle of the lower market. That isn’t going to happen. Alistair is very glad that Wynne and Leliana didn’t come into the house with them, even though he knows they wouldn’t tease him—and he realizes that’s why Katriel specifically asked them to come. They’re currently perusing the market stalls, far enough away that they haven’t noticed himself and Katriel back in the market.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. Goldanna is his sister, his family; she should accept him, should love him, right? His thoughts are cruel, reminding him that he will always be unwanted and unworthy—a _bastard_. Alistair can hear his heart beating far too fast and his breath coming harsh and loud. _Everything_ is too loud right now. He is only vaguely aware of Katriel at his side, saying his name and looking worriedly up at him. He can’t look at her, doesn’t want her to see him like…this. _Weak_.

Katriel takes his hand and begins to lead him away from the market square; Alistair follows, face up to the sky, trying to stop the flow of tears. Her destination is the garden near the Chantry—quiet, solitary, tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the market. Once they’ve arrived, she allows him a few moments to calm down more, her thumb rubbing soothing circles on his hand.

“Alistair,” she quietly says, and he finally looks down at her, tears spilling out of his eyes unbidden. He expects her to be angry with him for wasting time like this, or at least embarrassed by his display. Instead, she reaches up to wipe some of his tears and pulls him into a fierce hug, whispering, “I know. I know. I’m sorry.”

When he deems himself calm enough to actually talk about what happened, he (reluctantly) separates. They sit down on the ground side by side, admiring the garden, before Alistair finally speaks up.

“So…the demon in the Fade…he trapped us with what he thought would make us happy. Do you…remember our dreams?” She nods once. “Right. Mine was having a family, a sister who loved me, which appar—" his breath catches, “—apparently, uh, wasn’t meant to be.” Alistair rubs at his eyes furiously, refusing to cry anymore. “I’m almost sorry I gave her any money at all.”

Katriel leans into him. “You have people who love you, Alistair. Family is more than blood.”

He sighs unhappily, sounding a bit tearful again, “Like who? Duncan was the only person who cared about me and he’s—he’s gone now.”

“Your friends love you. And you can always count me as one of them.”

Alistair puts his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a sideways hug. It is…surprisingly comfortable, how well they fit together. “Thank you for coming with me today. I got so nervous you would actually try to leave and that I would be all alone in there. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” she hums.

They are quiet for a while, still holding onto each other, both wrapped up in their own thoughts. The garden is a bit overgrown and wild—untouched. Alistair prefers it that way, unbroken. She fits in well here—and the wildflowers would look so lovely in Katriel’s hair, wouldn’t they? The meditation gardens at the monastery were trimmed daily; order versus chaos, and all that religious dogma. He’s suddenly grateful all over again that he doesn’t have to go back to that life, that he's here with her despite, well, everything.

She breaks the silence first. “It smells like my mother always did. Lavender.” She points to a tall purple flower in the corner, the one that Alistair was eyeing. It occurs to him that he doesn’t know very much about her life before.

“Was that who the sloth demon gave you?”

She shakes her head slowly, “No, actually. It showed me after the Blight. We won at Ostagar and destroyed the darkspawn forever. The Grey Wardens were heroes.”

“How long did it take you to realize something was wrong?” Alistair still felt a bit foolish over how easy it was to trick him.

“I wanted to believe it. I really, really did. Winning something for once felt amazing. And after we’d been on the run for so long, it was nice to be…still. But Duncan was odd. He wanted me to forget everything, just leave it all behind and start anew.” She stops to fidget with her shirt sleeve, unused to wearing actual clothes after so long in armor. “I kept looking for you. I wanted to celebrate with you, be normal people for just a little while. I think that’s when I knew.”

She looks up at him and his chest tightens. “You figured it all out because I wasn’t there? Didn’t realize I made such an impression.”

Katriel shoves him lightly and scoffs, “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it go to your head, or there’ll be no having you.”

She stands, holds out her hand to him, and pulls Alistair up. He realizes how absolute his trust in her is and it is…Well. What isn’t it? He slings his arm around her shoulders as they walk back, thanking whatever circumstances (and Flemeth, he supposes) brought them together.

“So! What do you think Leliana and Wynne have been up to? Having more visions from the Maker?”

She laughs, “Be nice! No, those two have probably gotten everyone in the market to share their life stories, and now they’re all holding hands and singing the Chant of Light.”

He grins. Bumping his shoulder into hers, he lowers his voice, saying, “Hey. Thank you. I mean it.”

She reaches up to squeeze the hand on her shoulder. “Of course. We’re in this together, Alistair.”

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like alistair would be much more immediately upset by goldanna's reaction to him than he is in the game, especially since his arc kind of revolves around being wanted


End file.
